Riding Shotgun
Sarcasm Is My Only Defence

rowanandphoenixfeather:

one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there

"You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics."

Unknown English Teacher (via memewhore)

(Source: swarthyvillain)

lunasumerin:

arinjaeger:

thesassylorax:

osedaex:

jerkidiot:

SPACE JAM 2 CONFIRMED

I thought this was a cruel joke but it’s for real

WHAT

#somewhere in Austin, Texas #ray narvaez jr is shitting his pants


omg.. its real.. I looked it up..

lunasumerin:

arinjaeger:

thesassylorax:

osedaex:

jerkidiot:

SPACE JAM 2 CONFIRMED

I thought this was a cruel joke but it’s for real

WHAT

#somewhere in Austin, Texas #ray narvaez jr is shitting his pants

omg.. its real.. I looked it up..

5evamore:

when i see really attractive people i just laugh because i know if we lived in the aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the gods for their beauty 

crystalqueer:

Photos and final product for Mq. & Mrs.’s amazing lgbtq coloring book for kids.

Model : Alicia Michele

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

shisnojon:


studddmufffin:

jetskelter:

whitefurcia:

vejiga:

Dale a Internet una Imagen




y ellos harán lo peor….

Veo y subo a


tengo una mente muy enferma 


Hahahah wtf

yooooo spanish tumblr turns the fuck UP

shisnojon:

studddmufffin:

jetskelter:

whitefurcia:

vejiga:

Dale a Internet una Imagen

y ellos harán lo peor….

Veo y subo a

tengo una mente muy enferma 

Hahahah wtf

yooooo spanish tumblr turns the fuck UP

ericjudysbeard:

Working at LUSH: the saga